What Defines Success?
Updated: May 15, 2019
You'll be surprised. Get ready to bow to yourself in awe...
What is Success?
One of the most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself is what is success. Unless you ask yourself this question, you'll likely grab one of the generic meanings you see on television. And if you do, you'll never quite get to the top of the mountain.
When we fail to examine our perception of success, we wind up believing we aren’t there yet and we overlook the obvious of what is right in front of us.
We think success is a thing.
It's not. It's not a Maserati, a house in the Hampton's or a set of six pack abs.
But our mind tricks us into thinking it is. And because it does, many people work their entire lives to achieve those things to realize they don't feel any different than before. The void inside them they had before getting that thing, is still there.
The reason most people don't feel successful, is because it's never having something that makes us a success. Success is not a noun. It's a verb. And its personal to us in its own way. I don't want a Maserati, maybe you do? Neither of us is right or wrong. So the car can't be what makes us a success. I think its something much deeper.
Success is related to how efficiently we can express our values.
And here's where it gets interesting...
You're never not expressing your values.
We're always drawn to what we value the most in the moment. The person who values being in nature and honing their golf skills hitting balls at the golfing range is expressing their values just like the grandmother who loves playing games with her grand kids. Neither is right or wrong.
Both are doing what they value and love. Therefore, they are successful.
But here's why most people don't feel successful....
We have a skewed perception of success, and it's based in lack.
We view success based from the lens of what is missing vs what is being expressed through us. Instead of acknowledging ourselves for reading our favorite book or enjoying an afternoon of Netflix, we look for something in our environment that we don't have to beat ourselves up with.
Some of the personal favorites in the lack department are our bank accounts, our messy houses, and our belly flab. We use them all as collateral to deem ourselves as unsuccessful.
We overlook an obvious fact in the process. The things we don't have in front of us are less valued by us than the things we do have in front of us this very moment.
Read that again.
Here's an example...
As I look around my environment, I'm seeing my values in full expression all around me. I see a lot of beautiful treasures that I love and also some things that I don't love. I see a laundry basket full from yesterday that's waiting to be put away.
Now, I'm in the kitchen. There's a beautiful candelabra on my kitchen table. It's something I really like. It was expensive and it cost more money than I wanted to pay, but I opened my wallet and bought it because I valued it.
The clothes in the basket on my bed are an equal expression of what I value. I clearly value the clothes in the basket, but I value putting them away as less important as writing this article in this moment.
You see there is never a moment where we aren't fully expressing our values.
If you spent yesterday working at 3 separate jobs that you hated, you’re still expressing your values. You clearly value the money you get from those jobs more than doing something else in that moment. It's the same rule if you didn’t have money today to buy groceries.
If there is no food in your cupboard it's because you didn't value it enough. If you valued food, it would be in your cupboard. No exceptions. When you got hungry enough you'd prioritize that and find food.
We are all master ninjas at expressing our values and because there are no right or wrong values, we are all mirrors of success! We express our values in every moment.
If you tally up the last 24 hours of your life you’ll see that you’ve been beautifully expressing everything you value the most. If you weren't on a plane to Italy this morning, then it wasn't something you valued. If you woke up in jail this morning, it confirmed that you valued what got you in there, more than you valued your freedom.Get it?
We overlook the blessing of our free will and that we get to choose what we value in every moment, because our minds have become so accustomed to seeing life through the lens of lack.
We use lack as our proof that we aren't a success.
And it comes with a big cost. We overlook the joy of the present moment because somewhere- there is something... that we don't have. And we focus on that.
It' takes a lot of introspect to really get the beauty of this. We are always honoring what is most important to us. And that is worth celebrating.
There's a reason we can't see the blessings all around us. Our minds block us from basking in the glory of things such as our free will. Survival chemicals produced by our brain are what block us from seeing that we are in heaven. We just can't see it because our brain keeps it a secret until we master wholeness. But that topic is for another post.
I'll end with this...
You're already a success. In every moment of your life you are honoring what you value the most. Your mind just tricks you to jump over that truth and look for what is absent. Once it finds something it uses that thing to make you believe you are unsuccessful.
When I had this insight, I realized that the places I was judging myself were for not having things that we completely unimportant to me. That everything I valued the most I was living and expressing daily.
Now try it yourself...
What's important to you? Write it down and then look around you.
I bet it's already there.
Hugs, Trish xoxo